Splungthrust: Tales of Flimbonia

In his usual brilliant but slightly weird style, Melmoth of Killed in a Smiling Accident describes Splungthrust: Tales of Flimbonia as

Perhaps the greatest MMO of all time, it had everything that MMO players wanted. Huge sandbox elements seamlessly merged with theme park areas for the perfect questing experience. A genre-busting world design, which incorporated fantasy, sci-fi, horror, romance, and the wild west. An incredibly expansive player housing system. Intricate crafting that produced powerful customisable items. Twenty races. Fifty classes. Perfectly balanced meaningful PvP. Complex NPC AI that created exciting and challenging escort quests. Over seven years of unique content through three hundred character levels, with zero grind. A world which would permanently change based on the players’ actions. An active combat system that allowed for tactical or twitch game-play based on player preference. A detailed character customisation model allowing for intricate body specifications, such as left toe tendon length and eyebrow hair population density. In short, it was a utopia of MMO design. Unfortunately during beta testing the players complained that mailboxes were painted blue when clearly they should be red; the developers didn’t listen, and so nobody played the game upon its release.

The chances that we will see anything like a Splungthrust: Tales of Flimbonia anytime soon are slim. But the chances that some up the upcoming MMORPGs are actually quite good, but will be criticized heavily for minor flaws are high. I think the MMORPG market has a arrived at a stage of maturity and cynicism that no game will ever again be launched to universal acclaim. Not even Splungthrust: Tales of Flimbonia.